AzureHart's Place

Crack, Fanfic, and other Nonsense

Five Things Cadman Really Enjoyed Blowing Up

Title: Five Things Cadman Really Enjoyed Blowing Up

Author: AzureHart

Fandom: Stargate:Atlantis

Genre: Humor, Gen, 5-things

Rating: FRT

Summery:  As the title says, five of Laura’s favorite explosions.  Re-post of a challenge response from over at sg1_five_things on Live Journal.  Originally posted December 2010.

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate:Atlantis or any of it’s characters. No profit is being made from this work of fan fiction.


1. Her first boyfriend. Okay so technically it was the locker belonging to her first boyfriend, and not actually her boyfriend, but the authorities tend to frown on exploding high school students. Even if the asshole totally deserved it. Still it was a nice bang, the dye pack worked perfectly staining his hair and face a lovely shade of green, and his eyebrows totally grew back… eventually.

2. Captain Trask. If anyone deserved to be blown up it was this waste of space. His constant sexual harassment of any woman of lower rank and lewd comments were enough to warrant blowing him into a fine mist.

Unfortunately authorities still frown on exploding people so Laura had to get creative. She was rather pleased with the heat activated liquid explosive she came up with. She managed to bribe laundry into providing Trask’s underwear and she soaked them in her new explosives. The next time he tried to put the moves on someone, his underwear exploded in a spectacular fashion, catching his clothing on fire and giving him 2nd degree burns in some embarrassing places.

The bonus was that it happened while he was trying to seduce General Morrison’s 14 year old son. To say that the General was displeased would be putting it mildly.

3. An asteroid hurtling toward earth. She wasn’t yet a member of the SGC when she got the request to make a “really big bomb”. She had no idea what it was for, but built her superiors a bomb of the specified explosive power. It wasn’t until later, when she had joined the SGC that she found out that her bomb was used to explode a asteroid that would have caused an extinction level event if it had hit the earth. She was rather proud of her work even if O’Neill kept complaining about her timing mechanism.

4. The stargate. Not the actual stargate of course, but a black hole trying to suck earth into it through the gate. She was rather disappointed that she was on leave when it happened though that didn’t keep her from bragging just a little.

5. Three Wraith cruisers. All it took was one cloaked jumper, 5 naquada enhanced warheads, and a few tanks of the liquid explosive she had developed to deal with Trask. Flown remotely into the middle of the three ships, and then exploded in the biggest fireball ever known by any sentient species. She wasn’t sure how she was going to top that, but hopefully by the time she makes General she will have it figured out.


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